nably

My date was so bad I thought I was being tortured by a meat grinder.

He tried to kiss me and it felt like a feral dog bit my face.

I’d rather shovel poop than go through that again.

She looked like she’d been electrocuted and forgotten about it.

The way he moved was like a toaster trying to do a dance.

I’ve had better conversations with my pet goldfish.

That was the worst thing I’ve ever experienced. I want to die.

He was so bad I thought I was being punished by God.

I’d rather take a bullet than go through that again.

It was like watching a blender try to make a smoothie with bricks.

She tried to make love and it looked like a cat fighting a blender.

I’ve had better meals than that.

That date was like being chased by a monster with no escape.

He looked like he’d been run over by a truck and then kissed by a ghost.

I’d rather watch a horror movie than go through that again.

She looked like she’d been squeezed by a juicer and forgotten about it.

He tried to make love and it was like a juicer trying to make a smoothie with dirt.

I’ve had better drinks than that.