naber

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A person who buys you a drink just to make you look like a fool by insulting you, slapping you, and telling a joke so bad it makes your brain hurt.

I paid for this drink so I could call you a moron and slap you. Enjoy your life.

You thought you were getting free alcohol? Nah, you're getting free humiliation.

I bought you a drink so I could say your joke was worse than my ex's singing.

Someone who thinks everyone is their best friend, but everyone else is just pretending to be nice.

I like you, but I don’t like you. You’re a fake friend.

You think you’re cool, but you’re just a walking lie.

You’re the only one who thinks you’re popular. Everyone else is just lying.

When you fall on someone’s face while they’re sleeping, and when they wake up, their face is glued to the pillow like it’s their new best friend.

I fell on your face. Now your face is stuck to the pillow. Enjoy your life.

You slept through my fall. Now your face is glued to the pillow. That’s not a compliment.

You thought you were safe. I fell on your face. Now you’re stuck to the pillow.