naamat

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Being so high you think your pants are made of magic and your brain is on fire.

I ate three hits and now I’m talking to my toaster like it’s my ex.

My dog just stared at me and I cried like I lost my soul.

I tried to text my mom, but I sent a pizza emoji and a curse word.

So wasted you can’t tell if you’re in a dream or just really bad at life.

I tried to cook breakfast and now my apartment is on fire and I’m proud of it.

I thought my friend was a ghost until he started eating my chips.

I texted my boss ‘I’m coming in’ and then cried in a bathtub.

So high you think you’re a superhero and your pants are your cape.

I fought my neighbor’s cat and won with a broom and a swear word.

I tried to do yoga and just fell into a couch like it was a wrestling match.

I told my dog he was a villain and he ran away like he was scared.

So wasted you think your brain is a party and your body is the DJ.

I danced in my kitchen like it was a concert and I was the main act.

I tried to sing and my neighbor called the police because I was too loud.

I ate a whole pizza and then texted my friend ‘I’m a legend’.

So stoned you think your phone is alive and it’s talking to you.

I texted my phone ‘I love you’ and it replied with a heart emoji and a swear word.

I tried to call my mom and she answered with a dog barking in the background.

I told my phone it was my best friend and now it’s my only friend.