Naakhia

She walked into the club wearing nothing but a bra and a smile. The bouncer asked her name. She said, 'Naakhia.'

My cousin’s ex called me and said, 'Naakhia’s at the bar. She’s got three guys on her lap. You should come.'

At the grocery store, I saw her in the cereal aisle. She was eating a muffin and flirting with the cashier.

She texted me at 2 a. m. saying, 'I’m at the mall. Come get me. I’ve been eating ice cream for two hours.'

At the gym, she came up to me and said, 'Hey, I know you. You’re my ex’s best friend.' I said, 'No, I’m your ex.'

She showed up at my mom’s birthday party wearing a dress and no pants.

She came to my house wearing a nightgown and said, 'I’m here to stay.' I said, 'You’re already here.'

At the restaurant, she ordered for the whole table and then started flirting with the waiter.

She texted me, 'I’m outside your house. Let me in.' I said, 'I don’t know you.' She said, 'That’s why I’m here.'