Slangipedia - Slang Dictionary

1

so wasted you can’t tell your nose from your face

He tried to drink a whole bottle of whiskey and now he’s talking to the ceiling.

She texted me ‘I think I’m married to the floor’ and I believe her.

At the party, he tried to dance and ended up falling into a punch bowl.

2

so smashed you could knock down a wall with your forehead

He drank 12 beers and tried to fight a wall. The wall won.

She said she could beat up a bear if it was wearing a hat.

He tried to high-five a friend and missed by three feet.

3

so drunk you think your pet is a superhero

He told his dog he was the ‘leader of the pizza gang’ and tried to give him a crown.

She said her cat was a ‘space alien’ and tried to take it to the moon.

He asked his goldfish if it wanted to be a king and it blinked.

4

so wasted you think your friend is a ghost

He saw his friend and screamed, ‘You’re a ghost! You’re haunting my fridge!’

She told her friend she was ‘not real’ and tried to draw a cross on him.

He said his friend was ‘from the other side’ and tried to summon him with a spoon.

5

so drunk you can’t tell your pants from your shoes

He tried to put on his shoes and ended up wearing his pants like a hat.

She tried to tie her shoes and started talking about her ex.

He walked out of the house wearing his socks on his hands.

6

so smashed you think your phone is a spaceship

He tried to text his mom and said, ‘I’m on a spaceship going to Mars.’

She tried to take a selfie and said, ‘This is my spaceship crew.’

He called his phone ‘Captain Spaceman’ and tried to give it a medal.