n00berific

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To act like the dumbest person ever, making everyone else look smart by comparison. It’s like being a human version of a broken toaster.

Why did you pick a green shirt? It looks like a vomit explosion.

You tried to log in and forgot your password. Again.

You thought the sky was falling because your phone died.

To be so clueless that even a goldfish would feel ashamed. It’s like being the last person to realize it’s raining.

You asked if we were going to the mall. I said yes. You still didn’t get it.

You walked into the kitchen and asked where the fridge was.

You tried to play chess and put your queen in front of your king.

To be so basic that your brain is like a broken calculator. You can’t even add 2 + 2 without crying.

You asked if pizza was a food. I said yes. You still didn’t get it.

You tried to text me and spelled ‘hello’ as ‘helo’.

You tried to play video games and couldn’t tell the controller from the TV.

To be so lost that you need a map to find your own head. It’s like being the guy who got lost in a mall and still didn’t find the exit.

You asked if we were going to the park. I said yes. You still didn’t get it.

You tried to find the bathroom and asked if the hallway was a room.

You tried to read a book and thought it was a menu.

To be so confused that you think your brain is on vacation. You’re like a kid who thinks the sky is a giant mirror.

You asked if the sun was going to come out. I said yes. You still didn’t get it.

You tried to wear socks on your hands and called it ‘fashion’.

You thought your pet goldfish was your brother.

To be so useless that you make everyone else look like superheroes. It’s like being the guy who forgot how to breathe.

You asked if we were going to the movies. I said yes. You still didn’t get it.

You tried to open the door and used your elbow as a key.

You tried to brush your teeth with your feet.