M:TG

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a game that makes your brain feel like it’s been hit with a hammer and a curse

I spent $200 on cards and still can’t beat my brother.

My dog knows more about M:TG than my mom.

I tried to play and my head started smoking.

the reason you’re broke and your friends are laughing at you

I lost my job because I was playing M:TG instead of working.

My sister used my savings to buy a rare card.

I sold my cat for a pack of cards.

a game where you draw cards and hope you don’t get a curse

I drew a curse card and my whole deck exploded.

I got a card that made my opponent cry.

I drew a card and my dog ran away.

a game that turns your friends into enemies and your wallet into a joke

My best friend turned into my worst enemy because of a card.

I lost my wallet to a card battle.

My mom joined the game and now she’s richer than me.

a game that makes you forget your own name and your own life

I played so much I forgot my own birthday.

I got so lost in the game I missed my flight.

I started talking to my cards like they were my exes.