Maddie Barnes

She walks in and the whole room goes silent. Like a fat ass exploded.

I tried to eat my burger and suddenly I was comparing it to her ass.

I swear her ass is why the moon exists.

She walks in and my pants fall off. Literally.

I asked her if she was a unicorn. She said, 'I’m a unicorn with a butt.'

Her ass is so good, my grandma asked for a subscription.

Her ass is so big, it has its own Instagram page.

I tried to do a sit-up and she gave me a standing ovation.

I told her she had a nice ass. She said, 'I know. I’m the ass.'