madameye

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A lardass who talks like a confused donkey and you still let him drag you into stupid shenanigans.

'Bro, why did you bring a pizza to a donut shop? That’s like bringing a cat to a dog fight.'

'I thought we were going to the mall. Now I’m in a karaoke bar with a guy who thinks he’s a rock star.'

'He tried to explain his life story. I fell asleep halfway through.'

A walking meatball who thinks he’s clever, but he’s just a mess of nonsense and bad decisions.

'He said he’s a superhero. I said, 'Bro, your cape is a napkin.''

'He tried to flirt with my mom. I felt bad for her.'

'He once tried to fight a robot. It was just a vending machine.'

A fatty who talks like he’s on a sugar high and still expects you to listen to his dumb ideas.

'He told me he’s a wizard. I asked for proof. He said, 'I can make toast rise.''

'He tried to start a band. It was just him and a toaster.'

'He once tried to explain the universe. It took five minutes and a lot of yelling.'

A pig who thinks he’s a genius, but he’s just a blob of confusion and bad vibes.

'He told me he invented time. I said, 'Bro, your clock is broken.''

'He tried to fix my phone. Now it’s broken.'

'He once tried to be a philosopher. He just said, 'Life is like a bagel.' '

A greasy sack of nonsense who still thinks he’s cool, even when he’s clearly not.

'He tried to be a rapper. He just said, 'I’m the king of the donut.''

'He once tried to explain love. It took ten minutes and a lot of farts.'

'He thinks he’s a detective. I think he’s just lost.'