Mad Wood

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1
Getting so turned on you’re ready to beat off when you pull out four lumber cards in Catan. It’s like your dick got a promotion.
Just pulled four lumber cards. My pants are now a second home.
I’m not even looking at the board anymore. I’m just thinking about how much wood I’m gonna get.
That was the best round of Catan I’ve ever had. I’m still hard.
2
A girl who goes to Hogwarts and thinks the stars are telling her secrets. She’s loud, weird, and totally unpredictable. But somehow you still like her.
She tried to read my future with a crystal ball. It was confusing and weird, but I still liked her.
She talks about astrology like it’s her full-time job. Which it kind of is.
She made a prophecy about my lunch. It was wrong. But I still like her.
3
When it’s so hot in Princeton you’re sweating like you just ran a marathon. And you’re from New Jersey, so you know it’s real.
It was 90 degrees in Princeton, and I was melting like a popsicle in the sun.
I walked outside and immediately felt like I was on fire. Classic Princeton heat.
That heat was so bad, I considered wearing pants inside my house.
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