Mad sauce

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A crazy mix of bad decisions and worse luck that makes you wonder why you’re still alive.

I tried to cook dinner while high and now my apartment smells like burnt cheese and regret.

My ex came back just to remind me I was better off without him.

I bet my last dollar on a raccoon to win a pizza and lost.

When you’re so confused and angry you could punch a wall and it would be confused and angry too.

My mom told me I couldn’t go to the concert because I didn’t clean my room and I had a test tomorrow.

My dog ate my homework and my math teacher gave me a zero.

I tried to text my crush and sent my mom a picture of my breakfast.

A mess so big it has its own zip code and a grudge against you.

I spilled soda on my laptop and now it thinks it’s a toaster.

I tried to fix my phone and now it’s broken and I’m broke.

I wore my pajamas to school and my teacher gave me detention.

A mix of stupid choices and even stupider excuses that makes you want to cry or laugh or both.

I skipped school to play video games and got in trouble.

I told my teacher my dog ate my homework and it was just a lie.

I tried to impress my crush by doing a magic trick and it went wrong.

When life throws you a curveball and you catch it with your face.

I tried to catch the ball and missed and got hit in the face.

My mom yelled at me for eating too much pizza.

I told my crush I liked them and now I’m stuck with them.

When everything goes wrong at the same time and you're too tired to care.

My car broke down, my dog ran away, and I had to go to work.

I forgot my lunch, my pencil broke, and I had to write with my finger.

I missed my bus, got locked out, and my math test started.