macroasshole

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A person who is so full of crap they could fart out a whole damn day.

He turned my lunch into a debate about the meaning of life. I asked for a sandwich.

She cursed my name in three different languages during a group project.

He showed up late, hungover, and blamed the entire universe for it.

A human who takes being an asshole to a whole new level, like it’s their full-time job.

He ruined my quiet morning with a loud, unnecessary yelling match with a chair.

She cussed me out for forgetting her name. It was ‘Taylor’.

He blamed the internet for his bad decisions. The internet was just tired.

A person who’s so bad at being an asshole they make it look easy.

He turned a simple math problem into a full-blown war between desks.

She called me a ‘dumbass’ in front of my mom. I cried.

He left a trail of insults on the floor like a kid who just ate a whole pie.

A human who is 100% asshole, 100% of the time, with zero chance of being nice.

He said my idea was ‘stupid’ in front of the whole class. It was just a triangle.

She made me do 10 push-ups for calling her a ‘mess’.

He insulted my breakfast. It was just toast.

A person who is so bad they could turn a sunny day into a Monday.

He yelled at my dog for no reason. The dog cried.

She made me eat my lunch in front of everyone. It was spaghetti.

He said my report was ‘the worst thing ever’ for not being perfect.