macly retarded

I tried to open a file and it crashed. I threw my laptop out the window.

My Mac froze. I called it a traitor and threatened to replace it with a toaster.

I clicked once. The computer exploded. I’m not lying.

I told it to ‘make it rain’ and it just blinked at me.

I tried to ‘talk to the Mac’ and it said ‘I don’t speak nonsense.’

I asked it to ‘open the door’ and it started playing elevator music.

I tried to click the mouse and it laughed at me.

I used my foot to click the mouse. It worked. I got a medal.

I asked the mouse if it was a Mac. It said no. I cried.