maciek

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A Polish guy stuck in England like a stuck pig. No passport. No escape. Just a life of shame.

Maciek got stuck in England and still thinks he's a citizen. Classic.

He tried to leave but the border guard said 'No, Maciek. You're a prisoner here.'

He's been in England for 10 years and still doesn't know how to fill out a form.

A hot guy who thinks he's the main character of his own movie. He's not. You are.

Maciek walked in and said 'I'm the main character.' I said 'No, you're the background.'

He told me he was the main character of his own movie. I told him it was a B-movie.

He tried to flirt with the barista. She said 'You're not the main character here.'

A Polish guy who blames everything on himself. But also blames you. For no reason.

Maciek said it was my fault the coffee was cold. It was 20 degrees outside.

He blamed me for the traffic. I wasn't even in the car.

He blamed me for the fact that he failed math. I didn't even take the test.

A rich guy with a huge peen. He sits at the creative table and cranks 90s like it's a competition. No one can beat him.

Maciek cranked 90s in 1vs1 and I lost. I still don't know how.

He sat at creative and cranked 90s so hard, the table broke.

He said 'I can beat you in 1vs1. You're not even close.' I said 'You're not even close to being close.'

That one annoying kid who won't stop talking about his girlfriend. Like it's the only thing that matters.

Maciek talked about his girlfriend for 20 minutes. No one cared.

He said 'She's the best. The best. The BEST.' I said 'You're not the best. She's not the best.'

He texted me 'My girlfriend is the best. The best. THE BEST.' I texted back 'No.'

The best friend ever. He brings pizza, good news, and hates Stalin more than anyone. Also, he loves dogs.

Maciek brought me pizza and said 'I brought you good news.' I said 'You're the best friend ever.'

He told me he hated Stalin. I said 'You're not even close to hating him.'

He brought me a dog. I said 'You're the best friend ever.' He said 'I know.'