1
to give a dead thing the worst kind of sex
I machizzle my old toaster every morning before I make waffles
She machizzle the vacuum cleaner because it was being annoying
He machizzle the fridge just to see if it would explode
machizzle
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2
when you have sex with something that can’t feel it and won’t respond
I machizzle my couch every night before I watch TV
He machizzle the blender because it was too loud
She machizzle the microwave and now it’s haunted
3
the act of having sex with something that’s not even slightly interested
I machizzle my lamp just to be annoying
He machizzle the printer because it was printing too fast
She machizzle the oven and now it’s burning everything
4
having a full on sexual experience with something that’s not even alive
I machizzle my phone every time it rings
He machizzle the fan because it was too loud
She machizzle the microwave and now it’s possessed
5
when you have a full on love affair with a thing that can’t even move
I machizzle my chair every day before I sit down
He machizzle the fridge because it was too cold
She machizzle the blender and now it’s always on