Machi’s wife

She turned my lunch into a warzone just for using ketchup instead of mustard.

She started a feud with my dog because he didn’t cheer for her favorite team.

She texted me in the middle of a math test: 'You’re dead.'

She called my mom a 'fat flamingo' for not bringing cookies to the fight.

She cursed my entire family in front of the principal.

She yelled at the microwave for not heating her soup fast enough.

She texted me during a meeting: 'Your lunch is on fire. Fix it.'

She threw a snack at my brother for eating the last chip.

She turned my quiet weekend into a full-blown battle.