Machine Stalker Kelly

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a person who waits by your machine like a smelly dog waiting for you to drop dead

I saw him breathing down my neck like he was gonna take my spot by force.

He stared at me like I had stolen his lunch money.

He was so close I could smell his regret.

the worst kind of gym buddy who thinks your machine is their personal throne

He sat on my machine like it was a fancy chair at a restaurant.

He used my weights like they were his ex's phone.

He didn’t even ask if I was done.

a human who acts like your machine is the last slice of pizza at the end of the day

He looked at my machine like it was the last piece of cake in the world.

He didn’t even say hi, just took my spot like it was his right.

He was so desperate he started whispering to my dumbbell.