Machine Queer

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A person who can't resist fiddling with every toy and gadget in the store like they're trying to break it just for fun.

I saw him messing with the candy machine like it owed him money.

She tried to start the balloon animal machine and got stuck in it.

He pressed every button on the vending machine until it exploded.

That guy who thinks every novelty item is a challenge and will fight it to the death.

He tried to launch the slingshot and it hit him in the face.

She started a fight with the bubble machine because it wouldn't make pink bubbles.

He tried to eat the whole novelty pizza and it came back to life.

A human who treats every toy like it's a personal insult and will take it out on it.

He broke the remote control just because it wouldn't work.

She threw the mini golf set into the lake.

He tried to ride the toy horse and it threw him off.

A person who can't leave a toy alone and will keep pressing buttons until something breaks.

He pressed the button on the snow globe until it started crying.

She tried to unlock the treasure box and it bit her.

He kept pressing the button on the whoopee cushion until it passed out.

The kind of person who thinks every toy is a rival and will fight it in the store.

He started a duel with the bubble machine.

She tried to wrestle the remote control out of the robot's hand.

He screamed at the vending machine until it gave him a free soda.

A person who has no respect for toys and will abuse them until they’re broken.

He kicked the toy car into the wall.

She tried to eat the whole novelty cake and it came back as a monster.

He hit the whoopee cushion so hard it became a whoopee cushion monster.