Machete speech

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4 views · Added 8d ago · 3 definitions

1
When your girlfriend's dad (or your dad, if you're the girlfriend) yells at the boyfriend like he just stole the last slice of pizza. He might even pull out a knife or a gun to make the point clear. It's all about the don'ts, mostly.
My dad pulled out a knife and said, 'If you hurt her, I'll hurt you.' I thought he was going to kill me.
My girlfriend's dad threatened me with his gun and said, 'You mess her up, I'll mess you up.'
My boyfriend's dad came at me with a machete and said, 'You better treat her right or I'll cut you up.'
2
Your girlfriend's dad (or your dad) gives the boyfriend a long talk that sounds like a death sentence. He might sharpen a knife, clean a gun, or just stare you down like you're the last person on Earth.
My dad stared me down like I had just killed his favorite dog and said, 'You hurt her, I'll kill you.'
My girlfriend's dad cleaned his gun and said, 'I'll shoot you if you don't treat her right.'
My dad sharpened a knife and said, 'You mess her up, I'll mess you up.'
3
When your girlfriend's dad (or your dad) yells at the boyfriend like he's the villain in a bad movie. He might even bring out a knife or a gun to make sure the message is clear. He's got nothing but don'ts to give.
My dad brought out a knife and said, 'You don't treat her right, I'll cut you up.'
My girlfriend's dad brought out a gun and said, 'You don't treat her right, I'll shoot you.'
My dad brought out a knife and said, 'You don't treat her right, I'll kill you.'
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