mach retard

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To crawl like a tired turtle on a Monday after eating a whole pizza.

My brother mach retarded through the hallway like he was stuck in molasses.

She mach retarded to work because she forgot her shoes and her brain.

He mach retarded the entire class by taking 10 minutes to answer one question.

To move so slowly it’s like watching a snail take a nap in syrup.

He mach retarded the game by taking 5 minutes to pass the ball.

My mom mach retarded the whole family by taking forever to make breakfast.

The bus driver mach retarded us by stopping at every single light.

To shuffle along like you’re being chased by a very angry sloth.

He mach retarded the whole party by taking 10 minutes to get to the door.

She mach retarded through the mall like she had no idea where she was going.

The dog mach retarded the whole neighborhood by taking 20 minutes to walk around the block.

To move so slow it feels like time itself is taking a break.

He mach retarded the entire meeting by taking 5 minutes to say one sentence.

My dad mach retarded the whole family by taking forever to get ready.

The teacher mach retarded the class by taking 10 minutes to explain one problem.

To move so slow it’s like you’re stuck in a traffic jam made of jelly.

She mach retarded the game by taking 15 minutes to kick the ball.

He mach retarded the whole party by taking forever to show up.

The cat mach retarded the whole house by taking 20 minutes to walk from the kitchen to the living room.