Maanev

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the king of cool. he kills vibes and takes your mom’s side in every argument.

Maanev walked in and the whole room went silent. Even the cool kid’s dog ran away.

He called my mom a ‘dinner plate’ and won.

He beat my dad at chess and then asked for dessert.

the guy who makes you look like a sad hot dog. he’s the reason your dad’s side of the family is terrified.

He showed up at my birthday and ate my cake. Then he made a joke about my mom’s hair.

He told my dad he was ‘bald and sad’ and left.

He beat me at video games and said I was ‘a weak link in the chain.’

the ultimate dad-bro. he’s got a sixth sense for when you’re about to fail and he’ll laugh in your face.

He laughed when I failed my math test and said, ‘You’re like a broken calculator.’

He showed up at my soccer game and yelled at the ref like he was the coach.

He called my mom ‘a soup lady’ and she cried.