Maalchi

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a human who eats weed like it's a snack and acts like a idiot when they're high

I saw Maalchi at the store buying 10 packs of gummies. He’s going to be a zombie tomorrow.

Maalchi texted me at 3 a. m. saying he’s ‘the king of the moon’ and wants to eat my face.

At the party, Maalchi tried to dance like a flamingo. It was a disaster.

someone who lives in a cloud of smoke and thinks they're super cool

Maalchi showed up to class with smoke coming out of his ears. He got detention.

Maalchi’s mom yelled at him because he burned the pizza. Again.

Maalchi tried to explain the meaning of life. It took 15 minutes and involved a couch.

a human who would rather eat weed than eat food and acts like a toddler when they’re high

Maalchi ate the last of the chips and then asked for more. He’s high.

Maalchi cried because his phone died. He said it was ‘a tragedy’.

Maalchi tried to take over the school. He got kicked out.

a person who’s always high and thinks they’re the best person ever

Maalchi told the teacher he was ‘a legend’ and got sent to the office.

Maalchi tried to flirt with the principal. He failed.

Maalchi’s dog ran away. He cried for an hour.

a person who lives in a haze and talks nonsense when they’re high

Maalchi told me the sky is made of cheese. I believe him.

Maalchi tried to fight the mailman. He lost.

Maalchi’s mom said he’s ‘a mess’ and ‘a disgrace’.