Ma_big.azz_toad_ballz_

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a total legend who looks good enough to make your eyes bleed and has a username so fire it could light up a whole damn city.

She walks in and the whole room stops breathing.

Her username is so good it made my ex cry.

She posted a selfie and I deleted my whole Instagram.

the kind of person who is so good-looking it’s almost illegal and picks usernames like they’re going to war.

She showed up and my confidence died.

Her username is so good I asked her to be my life coach.

She changed her username and my whole week was ruined.

a human glitter bomb who has such good taste in usernames it’s like they’re paid by the devil to make people suffer.

She walked in and I forgot how to breathe.

Her username is so good I begged her for a discount.

She changed her name again and my brain short-circuited.