Ma. Lyzbeth

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1
Ma. is a fancy way of saying Maria. It’s a name that means things like ‘of the sea,’ ‘bitter,’ ‘beloved,’ or ‘a pain in the ass.’ It’s also a nickname for Mary, which is basically the same thing but less annoying.
Ma. is my mom's name. She's not bitter. She's just mad at the world.
My cousin is called Ma. because she looks like a sea monster. No one argues with her.
My teacher said I was like Ma. because I'm 'beloved' and also a 'pain in the ass.'
2
Lyzbeth is a weird name that comes from Elizabeth. It means ‘God’s promise,’ which is basically a fancy way of saying ‘you better deliver.’
My friend Lyzbeth said, ‘God promised me a life without homework. I’m still waiting.’
Lyzbeth got called ‘God’s promise’ by her brother. He’s a total idiot.
My dog is named Lyzbeth. She doesn’t care about promises. She just wants treats.
3
She’s the kind of person who can handle her own mess but will never forget if you help her out. She’s got a temper but also a heart of gold.
She yelled at me for spilling soda on her shoes. Then she gave me a cookie. That’s her way of saying ‘thank you.’
I helped Lyzbeth with her math homework. She never forgets that. She brought me a pizza the next day.
My friend Ma. got into a fight with a cop. She handled it herself. But she still thanked me for the ice cream.
4
She loves people and hates when they lie. If someone is being a jerk, she’ll take them down, but she’ll always be there for you.
My friend Lyzbeth called her brother a ‘total liar’ and then gave him a hug. That’s her thing.
Ma. said, ‘I can beat up your whole family, but I won’t if you give me a sandwich.’
She told me, ‘I hate dishonesty, but I love you. So I’ll let you off the hook this time.’
5
You can count on her because she’s reliable, but she’s also got a wild side. She’s not afraid to fight or be dramatic.
Lyzbeth cried in front of the whole school when her crush didn’t text her back. Then she challenged him to a duel. She won.
Ma. said, ‘I can handle anything. Even my brother’s dumb jokes.’
She told me, ‘You can count on me. But I’ll also take down your whole class if they laugh at me.’
6
She’s got a soft side, but if you mess with her, she’ll rip your head off. She’s like a teddy bear with a knife.
My friend Lyzbeth hugged me and then threatened to stab my brother. That’s her way of being sweet.
Ma. cried at a movie, then yelled at the screen. That’s how she feels.
She said, ‘You’re my best friend. But if you don’t stop teasing me, I’ll kill you.’
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