1
A fat, bald, smelly man who still thinks he’s cool.
He tried to do a dance move and fell over. Classic.
He called me a ‘chump’ for not knowing the price of a pint.
He tried to tell a joke and it took ten minutes.
ma grandad
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2
A man who smells like old socks and still thinks he’s a king.
He wore the same shirt for three days and didn’t care.
He said, ‘I’m a king, you’re just a peasant.’
He tried to sing and it was like a goat with a sore throat.
3
A man who’s got no hair and no brain, but still thinks he’s the best.
He tried to fix the TV and made it worse.
He told me he’s the best at chess. He lost in two moves.
He tried to flirt with my mum and she laughed in his face.