m9tual

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a person so cool they make your brain explode from jealousy

My homie is m9tual. I saw him and my brain went boom.

She walks in and I feel like a chump who failed math.

My crush is m9tual. I texted her and she ignored me like I was a spam email.

the kind of person who makes you feel like a washed-up pizza

That guy is m9tual. I looked at him and felt like a soggy slice no one wants.

She got a compliment and I got a side eye from my dog.

My friend is m9tual. I’m just the guy who brings the snacks and gets ignored.

a person so swag they make your shoes look like old socks

He walks in and my shoes feel like they’ve been in a trash can for a year.

She shows up and my outfit looks like it came from a discount bin.

My homie is m9tual. I’m just the guy who tries to keep up and fails.