L.O.M.B.A.R.D.

He bought a private jet just to flex, but he still yelled at the flight attendant for giving him coffee that wasn't strong enough.

He spent $10,000 on a pizza but still called me a fatty for ordering extra cheese.

He tipped $50 on a burger but still said the sauce was 'disgusting'.

He laughed at my failed math test and said he got straight A's just by blinking.

He bought a mansion but still said my tiny apartment was 'a disgrace'.

He paid for my lunch but still called my sandwich 'a sad attempt at food'.

He bought a Lamborghini but still yelled at the driver for not driving fast enough.

He gave me a $100 gift card but still said my favorite store was 'too basic for him'.

He paid for my party but still called my cake 'a sad excuse for dessert'.