Lahin

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A holy roller who will probably end up rich and laughing at you in heaven

My uncle Lahin prays so much he could probably talk to God on a Zoom call.

Lahin doesn't just go to church, he brings the church to his house every Sunday.

Lahin is like a walking Bible, but with better hair.

A person so religious they think they’re already in heaven and everyone else is just waiting in line

Lahin says he’s gonna get a golden ticket to heaven just for being annoying enough.

Lahin thinks he’s gonna be the main character in the afterlife story.

Lahin’s prayers are so loud, God might have to turn on the volume.

A person who’s so holy they probably have a personal assistant in heaven

Lahin’s got a saint on speed dial and a prayer app with 5-star reviews.

Lahin’s life plan includes a beach in heaven and a free soda.

Lahin doesn’t just pray, he negotiates with God for better terms.