lahd

You: I'm gonna fail this test. Friend: No you ain't. You: Why? Friend: Because I'm your lahd. And I don't let people die in stupid arguments.

At the mall, your lahd fights a guy who stole your candy. For you.

You're crying in the bathroom. Your lahd walks in and says, 'You're not ugly. You're just sad.'

You: Let's start a band. Your lahd: Sure. You: We're called 'The Sad Pencil.' Your lahd: That's cool.

You're wearing a hat made of socks. Your lahd: That's the best look I've ever seen.

You: I'm gonna fail math. Your lahd: No. You're gonna pass. Because I'm your lahd.

Your dad: You're gonna get a detention. You: I don't care. Your lahd: I'll punch him. Your dad: What? Your lahd: I will.

Your lahd walks into a bar and says, 'I'm here to punch your dad.'

You're being bullied. Your lahd shows up and says, 'I'm here to punch your dad. And maybe your teacher.'