lagwag

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the person who stays home and sends angry texts while you're in jail

'I'm not eating this cereal anymore, you loser.'

'You're still in jail? I've already finished my third divorce.'

'If you don't get out soon, I'm gonna adopt a parrot and call it 'Jailbird.'

the girl who still sends you love letters even though you're in a cell with a rat

'Dear Billy, I bought you a rat suit. You're welcome.'

'I'm still waiting for you to come home so I can kick your rat.'

'I got a tattoo of a rat. It's your face.'

the girlfriend who texts you every hour and still hasn't forgiven you for getting locked up

'You're in jail and I'm still paying your mom's rent.'

'If you don't come home, I'm gonna marry the jailer.'

'I'm getting a divorce because you're in jail and I'm still doing your laundry.'