Lagoon Cougar

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2 views · Added 9d ago · 3 definitions

A middle-aged woman who thinks she's a cougar but looks like a lagoon monster. She drinks to hide her face and ends up looking like a drunk fish.

'I'm totally a cougar, I just need more wine.', @lagoonmom

'She looks like a lagoon creature who got hit by a truck.', @barstoolguy

'Her face is worse than my ex's.', @lagoonlover

A woman who's not hot and acts like she is. She drinks so much she forgets she's not cool. Then she wakes up and feels like a lagoon creature.

'I'm hot, I'm cool, I'm a cougar.', @lagoonmum

'She’s like a lagoon creature who got stuck in a blender.', @barstoolguy

'She’s the reason I don’t drink.', @lagoonlover

A woman who's not attractive but thinks she's wild. She drinks to feel like a cougar, but ends up looking like a lagoon creature with a hangover.

'I’m wild, I’m free, I’m a lagoon cougar.', @lagoonmum

'She looks like a lagoon creature who had a fight with a blender.', @barstoolguy

'She’s the reason I don’t drink.', @lagoonlover