lagging

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showing up so late it's like you forgot how to exist, or you just don't care enough to show up at all

I was 20 minutes late to the party and got called a ghost by my cousin.

He didn't show up for the meeting and now he's got a nickname: The Absentee.

She missed the start of the game and now she's known as The Latecomer.

typing like you're in a race and the screen is like, 'wait, I'm still catching up here'

I typed 'hello' and it showed up like it was from the 1980s.

He was typing like a madman and the screen was like, 'I need a nap.'

She said 'I love you' and it took 10 seconds for it to show.

when the internet acts like it's been drinking and you get so mad you start screaming at the router

My game crashed because the internet was drunk and I yelled at the wall.

The connection dropped and I threw my controller like it was my enemy.

The lag was so bad I thought my Wi-Fi had a grudge against me.

when you're so drunk you can't tell your left foot from your right and you think that’s a superpower

I drank so much I thought I could fly and now I’m known as The Drunken Fairy.

He passed out on the floor and people started calling him The Floor Prince.

She drank until she could no longer tell the sky from the ceiling and now she’s called The Sky Dancer.

chillaxing so hard you're like a loaf of bread in a toaster, just waiting to be done

He was sipping beer like it was his life’s mission and now he’s called The Beer God.

She sat on the veranda with a drink and now people call her The Veranda Queen.

He took it so easy he looked like a sleepy cat and now he's called The Sloth King.

when you're still mad about something that happened last week and you're still wearing the grudge like a hat

He still hates his ex like it's 2018 and everyone knows it.

She’s still mad about that argument and now she’s called The Grudge Queen.

He still remembers that insult and now people call him The Hate Machine.

cutting yourself like it's a competition and you're trying to prove how much you hate life

She cut herself because life was mean and now she's called The Cut Artist.

He slashed his arm because he hated his job and now people call him The Anger Guy.

He cut himself just for fun and now he's called The Self-Abuser.