Lady Uncle

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A woman who acts like a drunk uncle but with more screaming and less shirts. She drinks beer and pee at 8 am in the Midwest like it’s a religion.

I saw her at the gas station yelling at the coffee machine. It was like a war.

She texted me at 8:03 am: 'I’m alive. I’m drunk. I’m still mad at you.'

She tried to drive home in flip-flops and said the car was 'talking to her.'

A woman who’s like a drunk uncle but with more drama and less pants. She drinks beer and pee at 8 am like it’s a sacred ritual.

She sent me a voice note at 8:05 am: 'I just peed in my beer. It’s a masterpiece.'

She yelled at the mailman and said he was ‘blocking her path to greatness.’

She tried to dance on the kitchen table and fell into a bowl of cereal.

A woman who’s basically a drunk uncle in a dress. She drinks beer and pee at 8 am and thinks everyone else is stupid.

She texted me: 'I’m drunk. I’m mad. I’m still breathing. You’re not.'

She tried to argue with the TV and said it was ‘talking back to her.’

She tried to drive a lawn mower and said it was ‘her new car.’