lady dimitrescu

My ex said she looked like Lady Dimitrescu. I said, 'No, she looks like your ex's mom.'

I saw Lady Dimitrescu in a club. The bouncer asked if I was her boyfriend. I said no. He said, 'Good, she doesn't need more boyfriends.'

My dog tried to flirt with Lady Dimitrescu. He got turned into a vampire. Now he howls at the moon.

My teacher said Lady Dimitrescu was the reason I failed math. I said, 'No, that was the calculator.'

My neighbor tried to text Lady Dimitrescu. His phone exploded. Now he texts with a burnt hand.

I saw Lady Dimitrescu on a date. The guy she was with turned into a vampire. Now they're both out of the closet.

My crush said Lady Dimitrescu was his dream girl. I said, 'She’s your dream girl? Good luck, I’m your nightmare.'

I tried to flirt with Lady Dimitrescu. She smiled. I turned into a vampire. Now I bite people for fun.

My dad said Lady Dimitrescu was the best thing since sliced bread. I said, 'Dad, that’s not a compliment.'