Ladikoolz

I asked him 2+2 and he said 5. I’m not even mad. I’m just disappointed.

He tried to explain the Pythagorean theorem like it was a secret code. It wasn’t.

He claims he’s a mathematician. I’ve seen a dog do better.

He showed up to the party in jeans that looked like they’d been through a war. I didn’t know if it was fashion or tragedy.

He said his pants were 'vintage.' I said they looked like they were exorcised.

He tried to wear them as a statement. It was a sad one.

He tried to make a dramatic exit. He forgot his line. He just stood there like a confused potato.

He said, 'The night is dark and full of terror.' Then he tripped over his own feet.

He tried to be the hero. He forgot his name. He just stood there like a confused hero.

He tried to rule the world from his couch. He still eats cereal for dinner.

He said, 'I am the king of all kings.' Then he took a spoonful of cereal.

He tried to make a royal decree. He ended it with, 'And that’s my final word. Literally. I’m done.'

He said, 'I was literally dying of laughter.' I died of confusion.

He used 'literally' three times in one sentence. It was a tragedy.

He told me he was literally on fire. I asked if he wanted a drink.

He said he was a beast. I asked him to lift a bag of chips. He looked confused.

He tried to roar like a lion. It was more like a sad dog.

He tried to bench press a bag of chips. He couldn’t. He cried.