Ladera

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3 views · Added 9d ago · 7 definitions

1
A sex machine that’s basically a robot with a vibe.
Hey, did you see the new guy at the pool? He’s like a walking erection.
My neighbor’s car is so loud, it’s like a sex machine in a parking lot.
That girl at the mall looks like she was built by a sex machine and a hot dog vendor.
2
Ladera moms are like the worst kind of vampires, except they hunt kids with loud noises and Facebook.
I got caught being loud in front of her house, and now my face is on Facebook for all to see.
She took a picture of me eating a taco and posted it on the group like it was a crime.
She asked me, ‘Are you going to the mall today?’ and I said, ‘No, I’m going to die.’
3
Ladera Heights is like the secret club for rich black people who think they’re the main characters in a movie.
That doctor next door has a car that costs more than my entire life.
The kid from Ladera Heights said I was ‘not on fleek’ and I got mad.
They call it ‘The Black Brentwood’ because they think they’re fancy.
4
Ladera kids are like tiny monsters who think they’re the kings of the world because they post on Musically.
That kid said, ‘Ur hair is not on fleek!’ and I almost cried.
She posted a Musically video and screamed, ‘Omg did you see that?!’
They think they’re cool just because they follow someone on Musically.
5
Ladera Ranch is like a bubble where everyone thinks they’re rich and famous, but they’re just normal people with bad fashion choices.
I saw a kid wearing a Brandy Melville shirt and he thinks he’s a rockstar.
Those skate kids think they’re cooler than me, but I’ve seen worse.
The moms scream so loud at the grocery store, I think they’re trying to break the walls.
6
A Ladera dad is like a guy who thinks he’s the best at everything, but he’s just pretending and has a hidden life.
He screams, ‘I win!’ every time his kid scores a goal, even if it was a fluke.
He runs at the Life Time gym like he’s trying to escape his life.
He has a secret girlfriend and a hidden addiction that he hides from his trophy wife.
7
A Ladera teen is like someone who thinks they’re the best in the world, but when they leave their bubble, they’re just average.
She thought she was the best at school, but then she went to a real school and cried.
He thought he was cool until he met a real person who didn’t care about his Musically posts.
She tried to be all that, but then she realized she wasn’t.
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