lacquer

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A shiny, sticky cover you slap on things to make them look fancy and last longer, but it smells like a bad decision.

My uncle painted his toenails with lacquer. Now he looks like a hot dog at a fancy party.

That cabinet in my kitchen is so shiny it could blind a cop.

My mom tried to lacquer her hair. Now it looks like a raccoon got into a glue factory.

A person who lives in a can of spray paint and thinks being stoned is a full-time job.

My cousin huffs lacquer every morning. He thinks it’s breakfast.

She came to school with a face like a neon sign. Clearly, she huffed lacquer again.

My brother got kicked out of school for huffing lacquer during math class. He said it was a ‘study aid.’

Someone who breathes in fumes like it’s their religion and probably got banned from the local paint store.

He huffed lacquer in the library. The librarian called the cops. He said it was ‘a spiritual awakening.’

She huffed lacquer in the grocery store. Now the bread aisle smells like a chem lab.

My neighbor huffed lacquer in the church. The priest said it was ‘a divine experience.’

To be so wasted you think you’re a famous singer and you’re definitely not wearing pants.

At the party, he was so lacquered he tried to sing opera in the parking lot.

She was so lacquered she danced on a table and screamed ‘I’m a diva!’

My cousin was so lacquered he tried to flirt with a streetlight.

A drink so strong it could knock out a horse, and it’s what my buddy drinks to forget his job at the cabinet factory.

My buddy drinks lacquer like it’s water. He says it’s the only thing that keeps him sane.

She drinks lacquer every night. Her coworkers think she’s a lost cause.

My cousin’s drink is so strong, it smells like a paint explosion.

A guy who wears a bowl on his head like it’s a hat and trims his hair with a knife. The girl version is a ‘Lacquer Girl.’

That guy at the mall looks like a bowl wearing a man. I think he’s a Dutch Paint Boy.

My sister became a Lacquer Girl. Now she wears a bowl on her head and a paintbrush for a necklace.

He trimmed his hair with a knife. Now he looks like a mad scientist from a paint factory.

A person who huffs paint like it’s oxygen and also likes the song ‘Lacquer.’

She huffed paint and sang ‘Lacquer’ in the subway. Now the train smells like a chem lab.

He huffed lacquer and cried at the song. Clearly, he’s a lost soul.

My brother huffed lacquer and started dancing to the song. He thinks he’s in a music video.