lacococolitis

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The agony of not getting your rocks off for so long it feels like your brain is on fire and your penis is screaming.

I've been stuck in a Zoom meeting for three hours. My brain is melting and my penis is crying.

No sex for a week. I’m like a dog that’s been left outside in the snow with no treats.

My friend hasn’t touched a woman in two months. He’s got a face like a sad potato.

The torture of being away from caulk for so long you start seeing it in your dreams and your fingers are twitching like you’re about to grab a tube.

I dream about caulk now. It’s like my brain is haunted by a tube of white goo.

My hands are shaking. I think I’m going to caulk my face if I don’t get some soon.

I walked past a hardware store and almost broke down crying. It was too much.