Lacking a Mathew

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When someone talks like a brain-dead parrot who only knows the word 'why'.

Why is the sky blue? Why is the grass green? Why do I have to be here?

Why did you do that? Why did you say that? Why are you still talking?

Why is this happening? Why is this not happening? Why am I still listening?

When someone spits out words like a broken toaster trying to make toast.

'I think I might have had a dream about a cheese sandwich.'

'I was walking, then I was not walking, then I was walking again.'

'The cat walked into the fridge and came out as a chicken.'

When someone acts like they just got hit by a truck and also forgot how to speak.

'I... I... I was... I think I was... I was eating a donut.'

'I went to the store, then I came back, then I forgot why I came back.'

'I saw a bird, then I saw a dog, then I saw a confused person.'

When someone talks like a confused donut trying to explain why it’s round.

'I think I was going to the park, but then I got lost in my own head.'

'I ate a donut, then I became a donut, then I forgot what I was.'

'I saw a donut, I ate it, then I saw another donut, and I cried.'

When someone thinks they’re the smartest person in the room and then says something that makes everyone laugh and cry.

'I think the moon is made of chocolate and also a very angry fish.'

'I believe time is just a donut that we all eat.'

'I think I invented the wheel, but it turned out I just invented a very confused donut.'