Slangipedia - Slang Dictionary

1

Your dick’s been MIA so long you’re mad at it and your pants

My pants hate me now. My dick didn’t even show up for the meeting.

I’m not mad. I’m disappointed. My pants are furious.

I’ve been so bored I’ve started talking to my cat about my lack of dick.

2

You’re so desperate for a dick you’d settle for a chicken leg

I’d take a chicken leg over this lack of action.

My chicken leg is more exciting than my life right now.

I’ve been dating my chicken leg for three weeks.

3

You’re so broke you’re using your penis as a payment method

I had to pay my rent with my penis. It’s not coming back.

I used my dick as a credit card. It’s now in debt.

I’m broke and my penis is on layaway.

4

You’re so tired of being alone you’re considering marriage to a toilet

I’m getting married to my toilet. At least it doesn’t judge me.

The toilet proposed. I said yes.

I’d rather be married to a toilet than have no dick.

5

You’re so sad you’ve started crying at the gym

I cried during my workout. My dumbbells were judging me.

I didn’t lift weights. I cried weights.

I went to the gym and got a tissue and a pep talk.

6

You’re so tired you’re pretending to be dead just to skip work

I’m not dead. I’m just pretending to be dead to avoid my boss.

I’m on life support. It’s just my phone.

I told my boss I was dead. He believed me.