Lackbeard

Why is he called Lackbeard? Because he's got no beard and a face like a burnt pancake.

He walked into the bar and said, 'I'm Lackbeard. I don't need a beard to scare you.'

My dog has more facial hair than Lackbeard.

He said he'd grow a beard by summer. Now he looks like he got face-rash from a raccoon.

I told him to grow a beard. He came back with a face like a cheese sandwich.

He tried to be a man. Now he's just a sad, beardless man.

He tried to join the beard club. They said, 'No beard? You're not welcome here.'

He's so clean-shaven, he looks like he got waxed by a mad barber.

He’s so beardless, even his eyebrows are trying to escape.

He walked in like he owned the place. Turns out, he just had no beard.

He said he was a man. I said, 'You're a chicken.'

He tried to be tough. Now he's just a beardless chicken.

He came in like he was a warrior. Then I saw his face. He’s just a man with no beard.

He said he was a man. I said, 'You're a beardless warrior.'

He looked like he just got hit by a beard-free beard.

He walked in and said, 'I'm Lackbeard.' I said, 'You look like you got your face sucked by a vacuum.'

He tried to be a man. Now he's just a vacuum victim.

His face is so clean, it’s like he used a beard vacuum on himself.