lachy mclaren

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a brain-dead, spazzy idiot with a cock so big it could be a new kind of torture

Lachy McLaren is the reason why I failed math and my self-esteem.

That guy walks into a room and makes the ceiling feel embarrassed.

He’s like a human meatball with a cock the size of a football.

a walking disaster with a brain the size of a pea and a cock that could knock out a horse

Lachy McLaren is the reason why my dog ran away.

He’s like a broken toaster that also has a cock.

I saw him once and I’ve been traumatized ever since.

a spazzy, brain-dead, cocky idiot with a cock so big it could win a fight

Lachy McLaren is the reason why I now hate Mondays.

He’s like a kid who thinks he’s a superhero but also has a cock.

I once saw him and I now live in fear.