Lace Irish

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1
People who care more about how their house looks from the street than how their furniture looks from the floor. They’d hang fancy lace curtains while their couches were falling apart and their kids were wearing socks for shoes.
My neighbor spends $500 on a curtain but can't afford a new toilet.
She had a lace curtain so big it blocked the whole window, but the floor was covered in dog hair and pizza grease.
He spent all his money on a curtain, and now he eats out of a bowl.
2
An Irish person who got rich and decided to act like a rich person. They speak like they’re on a soap opera, wear suits like they’re in a movie, and think they’re better than everyone else just because they got a scholarship.
He got into college and now acts like he’s the president.
She started talking like she was in a TV show and forgot how to say 'hello' properly.
He got a scholarship and now thinks he’s the king of the school.
3
Irish people who lived in tiny shacks but still acted like they were royalty. They’d hang fancy lace curtains in their shacks like they were living in a palace and not in a hole in the ground.
He lived in a shack with three walls but had a curtain so big it blocked the sun.
She had a lace curtain and a broken bed but still thought she was rich.
He had a hole in the roof but still hung a curtain like it was a palace.
4
People who clean the sink before they pee in it. They think they’re doing something smart, but they’re just being annoying and pretending they’re clean.
She washed the sink before peeing in it like it was a contest.
He took the dishes out just to urinate in the sink like it was a new tradition.
They took the plates out before they peed in the sink like they were doing a ritual.
5
Big spider webs. People think they’re lucky. They look like lace curtains hung by spiders instead of people. Some people think they’re magical, but they’re just dirty webs.
The web in the corner looked like a curtain made by a spider.
He saw a big spider web and thought it was a sign of luck.
She said the web was a sign of fortune, but it was just a spider’s mess.
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