LACASTROPHE

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A person who sees life like a broken toilet, always clogged and always in the worst bathroom.

My brother thinks the sky is falling, but it's just a drizzle and he's crying in a puddle.

I asked if we had snacks, and he said, 'We have snacks, but they’re expired and in a landfill.'

She lost her job, her cat, and her soul, all on the same day, and she’s still mad about the cat.

The guy who says 'winning' when he comes in second, like he's a loser with a trophy and a bad attitude.

He got a B on his test and said, 'I won the test, the other guy just got a B too.'

She got engaged, but it was to her ex, and she called it 'a double win.'

He got a promotion but had to move to the other side of the city, and he said, 'It’s a win. I’m winning.'

A disaster that hits you when you least expect it, like a surprise party for your worst enemy at your worst moment.

My laptop died during my final presentation, and the backup died too.

I had a flat tire on the highway, and it was the same tire I had just fixed the day before.

My dog ran away with my sandwich, and it was the last one, and it was my favorite sandwich.