Labour Day

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A public holiday so good, it gives you permission to get completely smashed and pass out in a ditch.

"Labour Day is the only day I don't have to be responsible. I'm getting drunk, and I'm going to regret it.", @drunkatwork

"Labour Day is my personal holiday. I don't work. I don't pay taxes. I don't care.", @laziestpersonever

"Labour Day is the day I prove I'm not a real adult. I'm still a kid who drinks beer and cries.", @alcoholismislife

A day to give a round of applause to people who work their butts off, even if they don't deserve it.

"I work my butt off all year. On Labour Day, I get a day off. That’s fair.", @hardworker2000

"I work for a boss who thinks I’m a robot. On Labour Day, I get to rest. That’s a win.", @robotworker

"I don’t deserve this holiday. But I take it anyway.", @lazyworker42

A holiday on the first Monday of September, and it’s the best excuse to not work, unless you’re a fool who wants to get paid more for doing nothing.

"Labour Day is the best. I get to rest, and my boss gets to pay me more. It’s a win-win.", @workfromhome

"I don’t get paid more, but I still get to take the day off. That’s why I like Labour Day.", @cheapworker

"I don’t know why I work on Labour Day. I’m getting paid more for doing nothing. That’s stupid.", @stupidworker

Having sex with your boss because you’re too dumb to know any better.

"I had sex with my boss on Labour Day. It was a bad idea, and I got fired.", @sexwithboss

"My boss is my lover. We do it every Labour Day. It’s tradition.", @luckyworker

"I had sex with my boss, and now I have to work on Labour Day. That’s the worst.", @unluckyworker