labored as a soldier

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the messy happiness you get when you're so drunk and high you feel like you're going to explode, but you still keep eating pizza

I ate three slices of pizza and now I feel like I'm going to die. This is the best feeling ever.

After the party, I passed out on the couch and my pants were on fire. Labored as a soldier.

I drank wine and smoked a blunt and now I'm singing at the top of my lungs. I don't care if I vomit.

when you're so wasted you think you're in a war, and the pizza is your only weapon

I thought I was fighting the enemy, but it was just my roommate. I threw pizza at him.

I called my mom a terrorist and tried to punch the wall. I didn’t even feel the pain.

I had a pizza box in my hand and yelled, 'This is my last stand!' Then I vomited.

the glorious chaos of being so drunk and high you don’t know your own name, but you still manage to eat a whole pizza

I ate a whole pizza and then I cried. I don’t remember why I cried, but it was awesome.

I told my friend I was the king of the universe. Then I vomited on his shoes.

I tried to dance like a robot and fell over. My pants were on fire, but I didn’t care.