kakamalabumsquirt

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Kakamalabumsquirt is when you're so f***ed up you think your pants are on fire and you’re yelling at a sock.

I just ate six tacos and my ex is still texting me. Kakamalabumsquirt.

He tried to text me during a movie. Kakamalabumsquirt.

I got so Kakamalabumsquirt I tried to talk to my dog about my feelings.

Kakamalabumsquirt is when you're so messed up you try to dance to a song that’s not even playing.

I tried to rap to the microwave. Kakamalabumsquirt.

She started crying because her coffee was too hot. Kakamalabumsquirt.

He thought his cat was talking to him. Kakamalabumsquirt.

Kakamalabumsquirt is when you're so high you think your neighbor is a superhero and you’re trying to save the world.

I told my mom I was going to fight the mailman. Kakamalabumsquirt.

He tried to kiss the ceiling. Kakamalabumsquirt.

She thought her plants were yelling at her. Kakamalabumsquirt.

Kakamalabumsquirt is when you're so f***ed up you try to talk to the fridge and it won’t answer.

I asked my fridge if it wanted a sandwich. Kakamalabumsquirt.

He tried to explain quantum physics to his dog. Kakamalabumsquirt.

She yelled at her toaster for not being loud enough. Kakamalabumsquirt.

Kakamalabumsquirt is when you're so messed up you think your shoes are plotting against you.

I tried to negotiate with my shoes. Kakamalabumsquirt.

He started a war with his socks. Kakamalabumsquirt.

She thought her shoes were stealing her lunch. Kakamalabumsquirt.

Kakamalabumsquirt is when you're so f***ed up you try to give your dog a speech and it just stares at you.

I tried to explain the meaning of life to my dog. Kakamalabumsquirt.

He gave a five-minute monologue to a chair. Kakamalabumsquirt.

She tried to make her cat apologize for being weird. Kakamalabumsquirt.