Slangipedia - Slang Dictionary

1

A polite person who treats his pet like a lover and would rather talk to it than to you

My dog is my main squeeze. You're just a side dish.

I told my cat I'd never leave it. You? I don't even know who you are.

My pet has more feelings than you do. And it's got better hair.

2

A guy or girl who's kind but would rather give you the cold shoulder than talk to you

I didn't even say hi to you. My dog said hi to me first.

You're just a distraction. My pet is my main focus.

You're like a bad WiFi signal. I can't even connect to you.

3

A friendly person who's more in love with their pet than they are with you

My pet is my soulmate. You're just my ex.

I'd rather die than talk to you. My dog would cry if I did.

You're just a background character in my life. My pet is the star.

4

A good person who's more attached to their pet than they are to you

My pet is my best friend. You're just my worst nightmare.

I'd rather fight my pet than talk to you.

You're not even in my top 10. My dog is.

5

A nice person who's more in love with their pet than they are with you

I'd rather marry my dog than you.

You're just a footnote in my life. My pet is the main story.

You're like a bad cup of coffee. My pet is like a latte.

6

A kind person who'd rather chat with their pet than with you

I had a conversation with my pet today. You? I don't even remember you.

My pet has more patience than you do.

You're just a guest. My pet is my family.