kaelin

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1
The most awesome girl ever, like a human glitter bomb.
You’re lucky to know her. She’s basically a god in human form.
She’s the reason I passed my math test. And I didn’t even study.
She’s so awesome, she could make a fart sound like a symphony.
2
A beautiful pool of water at the base of a waterfall. Also, the place where your brain goes when you see Kaelin.
That waterfall looks like a puddle next to her.
The pool is nice, but her laugh is better.
I stared at that pool for ten minutes. Then I stared at Kaelin for ten more.
3
A girl who’s so perfect, she makes your life look like a trash fire.
She drives a Scion Tc. I drive a bike that smells like my dog’s butt.
She listens to Led Zeppelin and August Burns Red. I listen to my cat’s breathing.
If she’s your girlfriend, you’re the luckiest man alive. Or the saddest.
4
A beautiful and funny girl with the charm of a pixie who makes you laugh until you cry.
She’s like a pixie who just stole your snacks.
She made me laugh so hard, my pants fell off.
She’s beautiful, funny, and has the power to make you cry from laughing.
5
Someone so amazing, she’s like a superpower you didn’t know you had.
She’s the reason I got out of bed today. And that’s saying something.
She snapped me out of my depression with one joke.
She’s like a superpower that’s also your best friend.
6
A funny, nice, and gorgeous girl who’s like your best friend and your personal hype man.
She’ll tell you everything, even the stuff you don’t want to hear.
She’s like your hype man when you’re about to fail a test.
She’s the best friend who also gives you confidence before you go on a date.
7
A funny, nice, and gorgeous girl who’s also a silly, carefree mess that you can always count on.
She’s the silly girl who doesn’t care what people think. And that’s a good thing.
She’ll be there for you no matter what. Even if you’re a mess.
She’ll love you no matter what. Even if you’re late to everything.
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