Kachaturoffed

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When the interviewer makes your life sound so wild and crazy that your own relatives are like 'Wait, who are you again?'

My cousin told my mom I used to rob convenience stores for fun.

My uncle said I had a pet raccoon named Sir Fluffington.

My grandma said I once danced in a bakery during a blackout.

When the interviewer takes your story and turns it into a full-blown legend, so much so your family starts questioning your sanity.

My mom now thinks I was born in a subway car.

My brother says I fought a chicken in a parking lot.

My dad says I once talked to a ghost on a phone.

When the interviewer gives your life such a make-over that your family starts thinking you’re a superhero with a side hustle.

My mom says I’m a secret agent during the day and a wizard at night.

My sister says I have a pet dragon named Steve.

My brother says I once saved a town with a karate chop.

When the interviewer makes your story so awesome that your family starts believing you have a sidekick named 'Fartington'.

My cousin says I have a robot named Fartington who helps me do math.

My grandma says Fartington once fought a chicken for me.

My brother says Fartington has a PhD in pizza.

When the interviewer turns your life into such a mess that your family now thinks you were raised by wolves and a taco truck.

My mom says I used to howl at the moon and eat tacos for breakfast.

My brother says I once wrestled a wolf for a taco.

My grandma says I once cried over a expired coupon.

When the interviewer makes your story so ridiculous that your family starts questioning if you were ever human.

My dad says I used to live in a tree and talk to squirrels.

My sister says I once fought a monster with a banana.

My grandma says I once cried over a broken pencil.